(The one you hate)

This post will contain spoilersTom Cruise' The Mummy

Let’s talk about the Mummy franchise – the one that ran from 1999 until 2008.

It starred Brendan Fraiser, who, at that time, was at the absolute peak of his career.

He was likeable, heroic, and a fantastic leading man.

The movies themselves were such a joy to watch – they were thrilling, exciting, unbelievably funny, and had such much fun with the ludicrousness associated with it.

They starred Brendan Fraiser, the aforementioned leading man, Rachel Weisz, who was so absolutely charming, and John Hannah, as the likeable but goofy comedic foil of the piece.

The movies were a joy to watch, with a wonderful setting spanning from the 1920s to the 1940s and had tone befitting of the kind of adventure movies commonly set during that time – somewhat like Indiana Jones.

And then we have the 2017 version of the Mummy, starring Tom Cruise, Russell Crowe, Annabelle Wallis, and Sofia Boutella as this version of the Mummy.

I sat there throughout the whole movie thinking, you know what? I would love if Brendan Fraiser were on screen now.

Where to start with the issues? There are just so many.

1) The charisma

There was just none. There was no sense of fun. There was no sense of adventure. It was just dull and boring and dull and boring. There was no sense of chemistry between any of the leading stars.

2) The accents

Oh God, some of the accents were just horrendous. Why do directors keep asking Crowe to do accents? He just cannot manage them, especially British accents. The less we talk about his ridiculous turn as Mr Hyde the better.

I had heard there was a silly reveal, but it was so much more silly than I had thought.

Then we have Annabelle Wallis – who is probably better known for playing Grace in the excellent Peaky Blinders. I just read up her bio and was surprised to see she actually was English, because her accent confused the hell out of me. It seemed to constantly shift from English to her Irish accent in the aforementioned show.

3) The CGI

It felt like there was a reason that all the Zombie/Mummy/whatever-the-heck-they-were goons were only shown in the dark and it was probably because they looked ridiculous. It relied too heavily on the use of CGI, which is a plague facing movies as of late.

This was one of the few times where I had to stop myself from just leaving the cinema early. With the inclusion of Crowe as Dr. Jeckyl & Mr. Hyde, you can tell that what they’re trying to do is launch a franchise of similar movies, building their own Universe.

It will be one that I won’t be taking part in, I’m afraid.