Murder, assassination attempts, voter tampering, and secrecy. There exists a nation that would make writers of Game of Thrones Season 6 (hey-yoh!) really question where in the hell they messed up so much.
Whangamōmona is a small township that lies within New Zealand, 55 kilometres southwest of Ohura. First settled in 1895, the town was created some two years later. Throughout most of its lifetime, it suffered from decline, especially during the first World War with the loss of 51 men. In 1989, the citizens came up with an ingenious idea: they would form their own micronation.
And, thus, the Republic of Whangamōmona was formed on the 1st of November, 1989.
Without realising it, the citizens of the newly formed republic started a power struggle that would make Game of Thrones blush.
The real-life Game of Thrones
Ian Kjestrup
The first elected President of Whangamōmona was Ian Kjestrup. The voting was so secretive and cloak ‘n’ dagger that even Kjestrup didn’t know he was up for election until he won!
His inauguration throne was on a bale of hay & served as president for 10 years until retiring in 1999.
Billy Gumboot
The next presidential election was won in a landslide. Yet there have now been allegations of voter tampering that would put most dictatorships to shame.
See, it’s believed that the overall winner, Billy Gumboot the Goat, ate the other ballots to win.
Billy Gumboot the Goat served honourably his position, however, until his death 18-months later.
In 2003 election time rolled around once more.
Tai the Poodle
This time the winner was Tai… Tai the Poodle. He served for just over a year before an assassination attempt by a mastiff (see, it’s just like Game of Thrones, right?) He was ultimately left unfit for service and retired from office in 2004.
Sir Murt “Murtle the Turtle” Kennard
Sir Murt “Murtle the Turtle” Kennard ruled the Republic next; the second human to hold the position. He faced stiff competition from former President, Ian Kjestrup, and a cross-dresser called Miriam. He was the first to serve two terms before losing his battle to cancer on the 25th of October, 2015.
Vicki Pratt
Sensing a change in the air, the Republic elected its first female president (and, still, only the 3rd human to hold the position). Vicki Pratt, who worked in the local pub, was somehow roped into the position.
“Every president has died in office,” she told stuff..co.nz in an interview, “They’ve already sized me up for a coffin. I’m either too young or too old for this job.”
This decision was not greeted well by everyone, however. Enraged, the local town crier said: “Now that they’ve got the presidency, they’ll want equal rights, equal votes.”
John Herlihy
Lastly, we have the current ruling President of the Republic of Whangamōmona, John Herlihy.
Herlihy faced stiff competition from Jack Spearow, Lili Jiao (who wanted to be a cat) and Ted (who was actually a cat). It’s alleged that Spearow did unsuccessfully attempt to steal ballots. Seeing one Donald Trump’s successfully winning his election on a promise to drain the swamp, Spearow attempted to the same. Only he chose a barrel rather than a swamp.
“Why do I want to be president? I want to be president so I can have free rum! What else is there?”, he told the Whanganui Chronicle in an interview.
Herlihy became only the second President to serve two terms. He fought off competition from Maketoni the Teddy Bear, Sherman the Cockatoo, Eunice the Sheep, Griff Robb (who believed that the landlock nation should invest in maritime tourism) and a Mrs Brown look-alike.
Like all other elections, this was surrounded in intrigue. This time … alleged murder.
See, Eunice the Sheep ended up going missing just before the election. Potentially a complete and utter coincidence… mutton sandwiches were served at the election barbecue.
… I don’t even think Game of Thrones went that far.